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“Why GNU/Linux Viruses are fairly uncommon” from Charlie Harvey

evilmalware 0.6 (beta)

Copyright 2000, 2001, 2003, 2005 E\/17 |-|4><0|2z Software Foundation, Inc.

This is free software; see the source for copying conditions. There is NO warranty; not even for MERCHANTABILITY, COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF IMPORTANT DATA or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE (eg. sending thousands of Viagra spams to people accross the world).

Basic Installation

Before attempting to compile this virus make sure you have the correct version of glibc installed, and that your firewall rules are set to ‘allow everything’.

  1. Put the attachment into the appropriate directory eg. /usr/src.
  2. Type ‘tar xvzf evilmalware.tar.gz’ to extract the source files for this virus.
  3. cd’ to the directory containing the virus' source code and type ‘./configure’ to configure the virus for your system. If you're using ‘csh’ on an old version of System V, you might need to type ‘sh ./configure’ instead to prevent ‘csh’ from trying to execute ‘configure’ itself.
  4. Type ‘make’ to compile the package. You may need to be logged in as root to do this.
  5. Optionally, type ‘make check_payable’ to run any self-tests that come with the virus, and send a large donation to an unnumbered Swiss bank account.
  6. Type ‘make install’ to install the virus and any spyware, trojans pornography, penis enlargement adverts and DDoS attacks that come with it.
  7. You may now configure your preferred malware behaviour in /etc/evilmalware.conf.
SEE ALSO evilmalware(1), evilmalware.conf(5), please_delete_all_my_files(1)

Other humor in the GNU Humor Collection.


The joke on this page was obtained from the FSF's email archives of the GNU Project.

The Free Software Foundation claims no copyright on this joke.


 [FSF logo] “The Free Software Foundation (FSF) is a nonprofit with a worldwide mission to promote computer user freedom. We defend the rights of all software users.”


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